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The video of Amy Winehouse smoking crack that The Sun released on Monday may lead to legal troubles for the singer. Apparently the video was filmed right before Amy attended the hearing for her husband Blake on Friday. The AP reports:

Police will look at the video before deciding whether any charges should be brought against Winehouse, a Metropolitan Police spokesman said while speaking on condition of anonymity in line with force policy.

I wonder if they’ll find anything illegal on the tape like, oh, I dunno, Amy Winehouse smoking crack! Then she suggests her cat should pack up and leave. I mean, that has to be illegal. Cats can’t drive. Except for mine. He’s pretty good at it. I leave him in the car while I get hammered at the local tavern because I’m a hero. Then Fluffy drives me home or at least attempts to. He mostly just meows at the steering wheel while I lie on the floor and work the gas with my face. But it’s cool; I make him wear a seatbelt.

NOTE: For those of you curious about Amy’s appearance, these photos were taken last night. She changed her hair color over the weekend. Apparently blonde hair is too crazy for Amy Winehouse.

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This story got buried in the midst of the Heath Ledger craziness, but apparently mom-to-be Jamie Lynn Spears has a partying past. And she’s only 16. Friends say her mom caught Jamie Lynn drinking at age 14 and she’s a smoker, according to Life & Style:

And even after seeing her older sister shuttle in and out of rehab and have her children taken from her, Jamie Lynn’s risky behavior didn’t stop. “She’s been known to smoke and drink,” says a pal, though her rep says Jamie Lynn currently does neither. “She’s starting to remind friends of Britney,” adds the pal.

If Jamie Lynn starts speaking in an English accent, we’re past the point of no return, people. You might as well fit her for a pink wig and torn fishnets. I’ll notify Starbucks. My God, how do you tell someone there’s two Britneys? I’d rather tell someone their dog died and I was the driver. Of course, I’ll deny it in court. Although I’m the only guy in the neighborhood who drives a monster truck with Milk Bone wheels…

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Amy Winehouse checked into rehab today, according to a statement issued by her record label Universal Music Group:

“Amy decided to enter the facility today after talks with her record label, management, family and doctors. She has come to understand that she requires specialist treatment to continue her ongoing recovery from drug addiction.”

Meanwhile, her cat is still nowhere to be found. A representative for London Taxi Co. refused to comment.

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Ben Stiller and other celebrities are defending Tom Cruise after several Scientology videos were leaked last week and an unauthorized autobiography about Tom was released. People reports:

“Imagine having a baby and people talking about it the way they did,” says Stiller. “People lose sight of the fact that Tom Cruise is actually a person. I feel for him.”

Ben Stiller has a point. I mean, Tom Cruise is a person. Who’s really an alien - trapped inside a person. That can talk to other aliens inside other persons. It all makes sense when you think about it and are really, really high.

NOTE: I reposted the FunnyOrDie spoof because, well, it’s freaking hilarious. I still can’t get over it’s Jerry O’Connell. I thought he was just a myth.

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Sorry guys, we’re experiencing some technical difficulties. Who knew that replacing your server with a pile of dirty laundry would be a bad idea? What are we, scientists?!

We’ll get this show going again once we sort everything out. Just how many times do you have to hit something with a hammer before it starts working again? C’mon now…

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Here’s the latest update on the Heath Ledger situation. The $20 bill was clean and now it’s being reported that any drugs found at the scene were prescription drugs specifically for Heath, according to the AP:

There were six different types of prescription drugs in the room, including pills to treat insomnia and anxiety, and an antihistamine, according to two law enforcement officials who spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation is ongoing.

All respect to Heath, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it probably wasn’t a good idea to mix all those. Then again, what do I know? I still take Flintstones Vitamins. Time to get my Dino on…

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Jessica Simpson’s attorneys are going after OK! Magazine. The latest issue claims Tony Romo kicked Jessica to the curb after losing the playoffs. The article also says Ashlee Simpson is trying to distance herself from Jessica. Both of these claims are false, according to TMZ:

Simpson’s lawyers have sent a letter to OK!’s Editor-in-Chief, Sarah Ivens, claiming OK!’s article is bogus, adding that Jess and Tony are still together and that Ashlee and Jessica remain close. The attorneys say the article reflects a “smear campaign” and has subjected Simpson to “public contempt, ridicule, aversion or disgrace.”
The lawyers want OK! to “immediately publish a prominent and unambiguous” retraction.

I’m suing OK! Magazine too. I thought Jessica Simpson was single and mine for the taking. I even bought a bunch of Mexican Viagra and the always romantic box of wine. Of course, I kind of drank all the wine last night then took the Viagra. I’ve been knocking stuff off my co-workers’ desks all morning. Hey, Larry, you filing those papers? *swings around* Ha ha, not anymore! I should get a raise for this.

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Tracey Edmonds split from Eddie Murphy before the two legally married because he wanted to bring his mother on their honeymoon. He’s also a bit of an asshole. I mean, an alleged asshole. Page Six reports:

That was kind of the last straw,” said a friend of the beautiful bride. “She was happy to sign a prenup - she has her own money. She was very accommodating. But then it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Eddie became very controlling and they got into a huge fight. He started screaming at her and grabbed her. She was scared.”

So, when Eddie Murphy isn’t roughing up the ladies, he wants his mom to hear him have sex on his honeymoon. I don’t want to say Eddie Murphy is the pinnacle of mental health, but, seriously, he seems well-adjusted. I bet he walks down the street and pushes old people into traffic. You know, because he’s deep like that.

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The masseuse who discovered Heath Ledger’s body called Mary-Kate Olsen instead of 911 using the speed dial on Heath’s cell phone, the AP reports:

A day before a Friday private viewing for the 28-year-old actor, police said the masseuse spent nine minutes repeatedly ringing “Full House” actress Mary-Kate Olsen before calling authorities for help.
The masseuse called Olsen a fourth time after paramedics arrived — at the same time as Olsen’s security guards.

To be fair, I also call an Olsen twin in an emergency. Mostly on the off chance they’re hanging out with Dave “Uncle Joey” Coulier. Something about a gratuitous Popeye impression evens me right out. One time he even asked if I “got any wood.” I laughed and was like, “Oh, awesome, Mr. Woodchuck. Classic.” Then he awkwardly laughed and goes “Uh, yeah, right the, uh, woodchuck. Gotta go.” Comedy gold.

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Sylvester Stallone denies ever using steroids but is all about human growth hormone. He used it to beef himself up to 209 pounds for his new Rambo movie. He goes on the record about HGH in the latest issue of Time, according to Page Six:

“HGH [human growth hormone] is nothing. Anyone who calls it a steroid is grossly misinformed,” Stallone says in the issue out tomorrow. “Testosterone to me is so important for a sense of well-being when you get older. Everyone over 40 years old would be wise to investigate it because it increases the quality of your life. Mark my words. In 10 years, it will be over the counter.”

If you’ll excuse me, I need to build a time machine so I can roid out at CVS in the year 2018. I should be back after lunch to dominate your women. Tell them to dress sexy. Sort of like they’re auditioning for Rock of Love with Bret Michaels but more whoreish. If that’s even possible.

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